breathe me
by othbdjb
Summary: Suck at summaries.worst day of her life Got Dumped, feels alone, depressed. goes Troubled path all while in high school. will there be light at the end of the tunnel?  brullian,  Brachael, Baley, Brathan friendships  maybe breyton and brucas
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own One Tree Hill nor the characters.  
><strong>This is the first story I have ever written. I absolutely suck at writing

This is going to be Season 1 onwards. I am changing things.  
>The car accident never happened. This is all happening when the car accident would have happened<br>Rachael and jullian are both in this story

Summary: (I suck a summaries) she just got dumped. Her best friend stabbed her in the back and was cheating her boyfriend. Her other friend knew about the cheating but kept it to herself. She starts feeling like she's alone, and starts getting depressed. She finds out some news, but her friends aren't talking to her because there too caught up in there little circle. She feels more alone than ever, Then she meets a stranger. Suddenly her old friends want to help . Brullian, Brachael, Baley, Brathan 

B POV

I have to wait 2 days until I get my test results back. I have no idea what's wrong with me. Lately I have been feeling really dizzy, like light headed. I can't sleep at night, which makes me exhausted during the day and I fall asleep in class. I have bags under my eyes, I have trouble walking, I can't keep anything down. That's why I decided to go see the doctor. I think I might be pregnant but im not so sure. Lucas has been MIA lately, I was going to ask him to come with me today, but he said that he had to help his mum so I didn't bother asking and I don't want him to be worried until I am sure. I was going to ask Peyton to come but she hasn't been answering her phone. I didn't bother to ask Haley or Nathan because things have just started to get back to normal for them. I kind of owed them that much after I blew it for them the first time.

As I'm heading back from the hospital my phone starts ringing. Its lucas, I can feel that I have the goofiest smile on my face. 

"hey boyfriend"  
>"hey pretty girl, can you come to the river court"<br>"of course broody, I will see you in 20"

when I arrive at the river court, I can see my broody in a, well how should I put this, in a broody mood. He is doing that little eye squint that I love. He is just so cute when he does it. He mustn't of heard me pull up, because as I'm walking he is still brooding.  
>"hey broody" he flinch, but then has a big smile on his face<p>

LPOV  
>Half an hour earlier<p>

_I am reading my stienbeck book, well actually I'm not really reading it I have been on the same sentence for the last half an hour. I am actually thinking about Brooke. I hate what I am doing to her and with her best friend. I know me and Peyton shouldn't have been doing what we are doing. I tried to stop I did. But we were in way to deep once we wanted to. I am happy with Brooke, I am. But I have been chasing Peyton since I was what 8. But I don't want to give up either of them. My thoughts are interrupted when I hear my door open. Peyton walks in. I stand up to greet her, and she comes and wraps her arms around me. We share a small kiss.  
>"hey Luke"<br>"hey peyt"  
>" Luke I think we should tell Brooke. I know we will be happier and really work if we are in a relationship and without the sneaking around. We can't keep hurting her, the longer we wait the worse it will be".<br>Peyton is looking at me as I take out my phone. I call Brooke  
><em> 

"_Hey boyfriend" I can hear her smiling over the phone  
>"hey pretty girl, can you come to the river court"<br>"Of course broody, I will see you in 20"_

_I just look at Peyton.  
>"I have to go, I am going shopping with Haley, I will call you when I;m done and you can come over" she gives me a quick peck and leaves. I don't really know what to tell Brooke, but I am going to head over to the river court now.<em>

Present

and that's how we ended up here. Me waiting for Brooke to come so I can break her heart.  
>"Hey Boyfriend"<br>I was so deep in my thoughts that I didn't even hear her come up to me until I heard this sweet sexy raspy voice call out 'hey boyfriend', I flinched because this is the last time that she will ever call me that. Then I quickly smiled  
>"hey pretty girl" mental slap, you are already going to break her heart stop using her nicknames<p>

"so I was thinking later, that if your mums not home, that I can come over and help release some stress that you seem to have"  
>I don't smile at that, and I think she knows it. But I don't say anything she beats me to it.<br>"you ok broody" god Brooke you're making it harder than it already is "you seem really tense. What is it?"  
>"I'm just going to need some time to figure some stuff out"<br>"whatever you need, I'm here for you"  
>"yeah see… that's the thing… *long pause, awkward silence* 'god Brooke don't make me say it' "<br>"are you breaking up with me?"  
>I can see the tears forming in her eyes. I didn't think she would cry.<p>

"I just think it's the best thing for right now"  
>"maybe for you"<br>she starts to get up. I broke her heart I really did. She starts walking towards her car. Say something.  
>"Brooke!"<br>she stops, she's waiting for me to say something  
>"I'm sorry"<br>she's putting on a brave face, but I can still see the tears  
>"apparently not enough"<br>and with that she gets in her car, I can see the tears falling down her face. Then she's gone, all I see left is the dirt that is left in the air from my pretty girls car.

BPOV

I have been trying to call Peyton, but she isn't answering. Lucas just broke up with me and I have been sitting at the car park at the mall crying my eyes out. I need my best friend and she isn't answering my calls. I decide that maybe some of my shopping therapy with help.  
>I have been shopping for all about 10 minutes and I feel exhausted and I am having another dizzy spell. i feel like my legs are going to give way any minute. I see a seat and decided to sit down. I am going to take this opportunity to attempt to call Peyton again.<br>*ringing, * "hello you've reached Peyton, leave your name and number and I will get back to you"  
>"hey Peyton it's Brooke, can you call me back please".<br>as I hang up and look up I see Peyton and tutor girl together  
>"Peyton!, I've looked all over for you, you didn't get my messages?"<br>"Really? Oh no my phone has been wacked out all day. Are you ok?"

P POV  
>I didn't think I would see her here. I have been ignoring her calls all day. I hear Haley calling my name, but my biggest concern right now is making sure Brooke doesn't see me.<br>"PEYTON"  
>shit she saw me, ok Peyton walk over there and try not to act guilty.<br>"I've been looking all over for you, you didn't get my messages?"  
>I look over at Haley, she looks so uncomfortable, it sucks that we put her in this position. She has been keeping mine and Luke's secret for us. I knew that she hated keeping it from Brooke. I think of a quick lie, can't exactly tell her the truth which is, that I have been purposely ignoring her calls because I'm the cause of the break up<br>"really? Oh no my phone has been wacked out all day. Are you ok?"  
>Of course she's not ok you idiot, her boyfriend dumped her for you. Oh shit she is crying over him, she really did feel for him. Shit shit shit shit shit.<br>"Not really no" **SHIT** "I said I wasn't going to do this and I said it wasn't worth it but it is. Lucas broke up with me"  
>what do I say, what do I say<br>"I'm sorry" yeah good one Peyton  
>"I was looking forward to get the chance to show him how much he means to me, and he says that he just wants to be friends. But every idiot knows that, that's code for go away. I just don't know what I am supposed to do."<br>"Look if Lucas says he wants to be friend then I'm sure he means it"  
>"how do you do that with Lucas"<br>well shit how am I supposed to answer that? I wasn't exactly friends with him, I was seeing him behind your back. I look at Haley, she gives me a death stare, my eyes are screaming ANSWER THIS FOR ME and thank god she does  
>"you just umm. You sort of do everything you've been doing except the sex part"<br>GOD THANK YOU HALEY I COULD KISS YOU!  
>"I guess there's a first time for everything right"<br>god this is just awkward. 


	2. breathe me sia

**Disclaimer: I don't own One Tree Hill nor the characters.  
><strong>This is the first story I have ever written. I absolutely suck at writing

**Know ones point of view  
><strong>When Brooke comes back from the mall she runs straight up into her room. When she gets there she goes straight to her bed and cries herself to sleep. After an hour she wakes up and goes straight into the bathroom. She looks herself into the mirror  
>"why wasn't I enough for him? I really love him" she balls her hands into a fist and punches her reflection in the mirror. The mirror cracks all over and some shards fall off. She just looks at her fist and see's the blood oozing out. It feels good, so she does something that she hasn't done in a long time, she picks up one of the broken pieces of mirror and makes a long incision on her for arm. She watched the blood ooze down her arm and drip into the sink. She was too fascinated watching the blood ooze down her arm that she didn't realize that there was a lot. So she quickly cleans up the wound. She felt satisfied when she cut herself and for those few seconds she didn't feel any emotional pain. So she makes another incision right next to the one she made. For the first time in 5 hours she smiled.<p>

After a day or two of crying and cutting, Brooke remembers that she left her favourite jacket in Lucas's bedroom. She decides that she better get it, it not an accuse just to go see how he is holding up. It is her favourite jacket. As she gets up she feels dizzy and falls back down. "woaaahh, I guess that's what happens when you haven't eaten in like 2 days " she gets up, slowly but steadily so she can get herself ready. She walks into the bathroom and see's the mess she has made over the 3 days. But she ignores it and goes and gets changed. She wear an oversized jumper and jeans, just to make sure you can't see any cuts.  
>"If his car is there I will keep driving if it's gone I will quickly go in and get it" she says to know one in particular. Before she gets up to leave her phone rings, "number out of area, wonder who it is" <p>

"Hello"  
>"Hello is this Brooke Davis?"<br>"Yes it is, may I ask who this is?"  
>"Hello Brooke, it's Dr. Chase Adams here; we have your test results. The good news is that you're not pregnant"<br>"thank god"  
>"But Brooke we found something. it's not looking good, we need you to come back tomorrow for more testing"<br>"hello? Brooke are you there?"  
>"Sorry. So tomorrow?"<br>"Yeah tomorrow first thing, you can bring someone if you wish"  
>"ok thankyou doctor see you tomorrow".<br>Not pregnant that's a good thing right? But more testing, that can't be good . She grabs her keys and jumps in the car; she will go grab her jacket from Luke's then head to Peyton's, maybe she can help.

When Brooke arrives at the Roe house hold Luke's car isn't in the driveway but Karen's is.  
>"In out, hopefully she won't ask question or give me any pity looks"<br>Brooke knocks on the door, and Karen answers the door.  
>"oh hello Brooke, how are you?"<br>"Hey Karen I'm good, how about you? I left my jacket in Luke's room and I was wondering if I could quickly grab it"  
>"sure Brooke go ahead".<br>Brooke enters lukes room and she stops in her tracks and takes in the familiar scent.  
>"Smells exactly like him"<br>she looks around his room for her jacket, she sees it at the desk with his laptop. she grabs her jacket and looks up at his laptop. Its open on Peyton's site, she looks again and she sees Peyton and Luke kissing. A single tear falls down her cheek like a water droplet would on a window. How could they do this to her? She runs out of the roe house hold ignoring Karen's calls, gets into her car and speeds away. When she reaches' Peyton's house she waits for Luke to leave then goes into Peyton's room. Peyton was in her room drawing. Peyton looks up when Brooke mutters a 'hey'  
>"you're out late"<br>"couldn't sleep"  
>"everything will turn out ok"<br>"no not really"  
>"I don't know what hurts worse, you and Lucas sneaking around behind my back, or you lying about it to my face"<br>Peyton looks like she just got slapped in the face, she starts to protest "bro-"  
>Brooke cuts her off "No. the next time you want to steal my boyfriend, you might want to turn your webcam off. I went into his room to grab my jacket I left there, and maybe talk to him. His computer was on. I know you two were together. He meant EVERYTHING to me Peyton. And I was ready to try and be his friend if that's what he needed. Now I don't really care if I see either one of you again." With that Brooke left Peyton's in tears. She speed all the way home, she has miss calls from both Peyton and Lucas. As soon as she entered the house she ran to the bathroom to relieve some emotional stress. This would have to be the one of the worst weekends of her life. She thinks of all the bad things that have happened these past few days. Lucas cheated on her *cut*, peyton backstabbed her and was with her boyfriend *cut* have to go to the doctors tomorrow *cut*, Parents aren't here to help her *cut* Hayley and Nathan probably knew about the whole cheating thing and didn't tell her, *cut* and she was utterly and completely alone *cut*. She cried herself asleep (if you could call it that) again that night.<p> 


	3. Hide and seek had to reupload

**Disclaimer: I don't own One Tree Hill nor the characters.  
><strong>This is the first story I have ever written. I absolutely suck at writing

**BPOV**  
>I get up get ready and go straight to the doctor's office, to say I am scared shitless is an understatement. I wish someone would come with me, but I have no one left.<p>

As soon as I go to the doctor's office I get called in straight away.  
>"Thank you for coming Brooke. As I said to you over the phone we have your test results, but there not looking good. We need to run a few more tests and we will find out what it is"<p>

"do you have any idea of what it might be?"  
>"now I don't want to scare you, but we think it might be cancer"<p>

I just nod my head. I can feel the tears in the rims of my eye.

"ok brooke, this is going to hurt. After I get some samples you can stay near or around the hospital and we will call you back in for the results"

I guess the upside to the testing today is that I get the day off school. My phone has been going off all day. I have miss and texts calls from Lucas, Peyton, Hayley and Nathan saying where am I, and if I am ok.

Of course I'm not ok, my best friend and my boyfriend cheated on me, and my other two friends lied about it. To top it all off I might have cancer. Everything is going uphill for Brooke Davis.  
>I go back to Doctor Adams office and I can see straight away that is something wrong. He has a sympathy look on his face, I hate pitty looks. It's the same look I get when people talk about their families, and then remember that mine aren't around enough to remember my name.<p>

"Ok Brooke you test results are back… it is what we thought it was. You have Acute lymphoblastic leukemia which is cancer of the white blood cells characterized by excess lymphoblasts. Malignant, immature white blood cells continuously multiply and are overproduced in the bone marrow. ALL causes damage and death by crowding out normal cells in the bone marrow, and by spreading (infiltrating) to other organs. The Standard treatments involve chemotherapy and radiotherapy. Now I would like you to go home and think about this and tell me if you would like to start treatment. I would recommend that we start treatment immediately. Thank you Miss Davis"

I had no idea what he was talking about. The only that stuck with me was Leukemia, which is cancer. CANCER! I have cancer. I'm only 18 I'm not supposed to have cancer, my biggest worry at 18 is wondering what prom dress I should wear. I head straight home from the hospital and go straight to the bathroom and start cutting. At least there are something's I can still control, I might not be able to control this cancer but I can control when I want to bleed and how much food I eat. I look at the new mirror I got. I just want to scream. Right now I hate myself. I look so fat, so ugly. I can't stand to look at myself anymore, so I punch the new mirror. I am very satisfied. My old wounds on my hand open. Pretty stupid to hurt myself there it's too noticeable I won't be so reckless this time. I am hungry but I'm not going to eat. I pull out the scale. Yep just what I thought too heavy, I have to at least lose 10 pounds. I start to feel sick, really dizzy. My legs give way under me. I fall into a sleepless slumber.

I wake up the next morning to my phone ringing. I realise that I slept on the floor where I fell last night. With a bit of a struggle I get up to see who called. It was Lucas. Yeah right like I want to talk to him. I throw my phone and go have a shower. I have to go to school today, if I don't they think that they've won.  
>I arrive at school half an hour later, wearing a long sleeved shirt and jeans. You can totally notice my hand but that's ok I will keep it hidden or if someone asks I burnt it. The first face I see as im walking towards the schools it Peyton. "Fucking great"<br>she's walking towards me with a smile on her face. "Brooke" she calls out. Let's just say that if looks could kill she would be 6 feet under. I run into Lucas as I'm walking past the gym, such a cheating bastard. I give him the same look I gave Peyton.  
>"Brooke! I'm sorry"<br>what he thought it was an invitation to start talking to me. I turn around  
>"yeah, sorry you got caught" ooo nice one Brooke<br>"we didn't mean to hurt you"  
>"you did not just say that to me"<br>"look we didn't plan any of this, it just happened"  
>"go to hell" and with that I storm away, with tears in my eyes. It just happened who does he think he is. How can it just happen, you just can't happen to be cheating behind my back. I can feel the tears pouring down my face. I feel so vulnerable, I wrap and arm around my body. I was so deep in thought that I didn't realize that I ran into something till I was on the floor. I look up to see what it was, and I should say somebody, a really, really cute somebody.<p>

I mutter an, I'm sorry  
>he must of the noticed my tears, he helped me up. "That's ok. Hey are you ok?"<br>"Appositely dandy thank you" brooke he is just being nice. "sorry I didn't mean to take it out on you, I've never seen you before are you knew?"  
>"Yeah I just transferred from California. Julian Baker" a smile actually reaches my face<br>"Brooke Davis. Very nice to meet you" with that I start to walk away.  
>"Brooke wait" I smile and turn around. "as I am knew here and don't know anyone do you think I can have your number, then we can hang out?"<br>I gave him my number then went on my merry way.  
>I really need to talk to someone about my cancer. Maybe I can talk to Haley at least she didn't do the cheating. I understand why she didn't tell me, Lucas is her oldest friend and she probably did want to hurt me.<br>The lunch bell rang so I go outside to find Haley. When I go outside I see Haley, Nathan, Lucas and Peyton all eating lunch together. I guess that's how it always was; I never was in that circle really. How it is that Lucas and Peyton are the ones that cheat but im the one that gets shunned. I can feel tears in the rims of my eyes. I feel really dizzy and I must have turned a little bit to fast because the next thing I know I lose my footing and thank god to whoever was behind me, because they caught me before I hit the floor.  
>"whoa, are you ok"<br>as I'm talking I turn around to see who caught me "yeah I'm o- Julian you caught me? Thank you"  
>"Are you ok really? This is the second time I have seen you and both time you have been in tears"<br>"yeah I'm ok I'm-" I look towards my old group of friends, Haley and Nathan both have concerned pitty looks and both Lucas and Peyton look guilty "just going through some stuff"  
>Julian must have caught onto where I was looking because when I look up at him he is looking at my of group of friends.<p>

**Nobodies point of view**

"well Brooke why don't you sit with me" Julian grabs brooks hand and he starts to head towards a table. He noticed Brookes hand was banged.  
>"Brooke what happened to your hand"<br>Brooke acts a little bit nervous "oh, yeah umm, I was cooking and I forgot that the hot plate was turned on, yeah, and I went to grab something from the cupboard and I leant my hand on there"  
>Julian can tell that there is something up with that story, but he doesn't really know her that well so he lets the story slide, but will keep an eye on her.<p>

Lucas was staring intently at Brooke "who's the guy Brookes talking to"  
>Peyton sighed, "I don't know Luke, me and Brooke haven't exactly been talking lately either"<br>"oh that's Julian, he's new here, he just volunteered up at the tutoring centre. He seems nice enough" Haley stated with a smile. She met Julian earlier that day.  
>Nathan had enough and stood up and fiercely whispered "Luke you and Peyton don't get the right to ask questions about Brooke. You both lost the right when you when behind her back and broke her heart" with that Nathan stormed away. He knows he will cop it from Haley later but he didn't care, he couldn't put up with the pity party any longer.<p> 


End file.
